I have been thinking the past few days and i have come to a decision. I think it is time for me to close down my blog. Over the past 2.5 years, my readership has swelled, from people i know and i don't. Whilst i welcome strangers reading my blog, i do not particularly appreciate people whom i only know impersonally, from snooping around my blog. I am not pin-pointing out a certain character because i believe she ain't the only one. I get very personal on my blog and the stuff i write about can involve intense feelings at that moment. It may not generally reflect my long term perspectives.
I believe this blog has destroyed quite a few friendships, but definitely fostered and strengthened a whole lot more. I set up this blog with 2 intentions - to let my close buddies all over the globe keep in touch with my life as our academic and work commitments demand a hefty part of our schedule and to just indulge in some creative writing at the same time, hopefully tickling my readers with Life's funny antics. But a public blog is an open domain; anyone is allowed access. I could deal with that in the past, but not anymore. This is actually my 3rd blog. I ran like a fugitive from the others because of unwanted readers too, people whom i don't know very well, and keep a distance in real-life, but who seem to have an unhealthy interest to what i am doing.
But that's not all. I also realized that i don't really like the way i an behaving. Sometimes i feel that i am becoming a more self-righteous, pompous fool on my blog. And sometimes i do wonder whether writing how i feel on the blog could be taken as bitching about someone behind their back. I do not know any of these things anymore, and i decided the best way is to err on the side of safety - to bow out of the limelight, and keep those thoughts to myself and my close friends.
In addition, since i am so descriptive on my blog, i feel that it has removed some of the conversation topics that i would otherwise have enjoyed with my friends. I can't tell them about the ridiculous/sad/deep incidents that i have experienced or observed because they have already read it on my blog, and i do not want to be a boring broken tape recorder. Somehow it removes some of the enthusiasm or excitement when i want to tell them personally and more animatedly. So i hope the closure of this blog will be an opportunity to prompt friends to call or write more often and vice versa.
I guess without much pomp and fanfare, i bade you readers a farewell. I hope you enjoyed what you have been reading, because i have certainly enjoyed writing. With everything going well for me at the moment - closer family ties, independent lifestyle, living a bacherlorette's life, 2 wonderfully intelligent dogs (yes, even Daxter has perked up, must be the clean crisp fresh air around here and the endless supplies of birds for him to chase), stronger friendships, better control over my fitness (bought a new treadmill and a leather skipping rope!), great working place in Starbucks (colleagues to slog it out with and laugh about insane customers) and finally, med school (my study has been approved! Charging onto aggressive patients next week! Woot!).
More time spent in my head (the serene nature-like environment where i am staying and the long bus rides are absolutely doing wonders to my well-being) and more time spent with my Moleskine book and my friends.
Goodbye, and sorry to disappoint if you were hoping for more. :)